Mini Monsters.

We all have fears. Whether or not you want to admit it. I know you do. Mine happens to by the furry, eight legged, mini monsters. – Yes you’ve guessed it. Spiders & Bananas. I get into a massive fit when I see one, crying, screaming the whole shebang! (Gosh I sound like a right girl). Let me try to explain the experiences that I’ve had with them and it might justify why the mini monsters scare me so much.

1. When I was younger I had an extremely bad experience with a banana. – Go on laugh all you want. This actually happened.. I was probably around 11, just casually opening a banana watching some kind of cartoon on TV. I went to open the banana, like you do pealing it slowly as I was clued to the TV. I happened to catch something moving as I opened it. It was something black, I didn’t think anything of it and continued to open it (thinking it was just the tip of the banana or something – boy was I wrong). I eventually looked down and it was this huge spider! I have never screamed so loud in my life. – My scream was like super sonic! My mum ran into the room in such a panic she started screaming ‘what’s wrong!, what’s wrong!’ … I threw the banana across the room, screaming and crying my eyes out. I couldn’t bring to words what I was so upset about, all I could do was point in the direct of the squished banana and this long-legged black thing. My mum instantly realised it was a spider. She took me out the room and squashed the spider. – Ever since then, I have never eaten a banana. Never. Although everyone at my last job found out I was terrified of bananas and on my fast day, chased me around the building with bananas. Then (because I worked in a kitchen), they put them in the microwave, the oven, on my paperwork, in the fridge and also in my cake tins. I almost had a bloody heart attack! – Needless to say I didn’t find it funny. I only talk to one of those people now.

2. I was home alone one day, my parents were in Bournemouth having a lovely time away. My boyfriend was staying at his house. I was all free, singing along to my music, had the TVs on in all rooms. I was loving life! I made myself a cup of tea, and was heading to bed. When I saw it. This thick black thing staring at me. Its long hairy legs, thick body (it was like a spider on steroids). It was between me and the stairs. – I knew at this point I couldn’t win. I couldn’t get up the stairs to my bed. I assessed the situation and knew I had no option. I started to cry… I couldn’t move… it was like I was clued to the floor. I grabbed my phone and immediately rang my dad. He picked up the phone and heard me crying uncontrollably. He thought something was seriously wrong! He tried calming me down, so that I was able to tell him what was happening. In between breaths I managed to say … ‘There’s…. A …… Spider …..’ There was a long pause. Then he said ‘You called me in a state because of a spider? Just get the Hoover and get rid of it or jump over it’. I couldn’t do either of those things! (In my mind if I hovered it up, I thought it would climb back out and get me or if I jumped over it, it would jump on me!) – I know, stupid right?  After around 20 minutes of me sobbing down the phone, he said that he couldn’t do anything as he was 3 hours away. He came up with a solution.. call my boyfriend. What a brilliant idea! My boyfriend isn’t scared of them (much) and can come get rid of it! – I called my boyfriend (baring in mind it was 11:45pm). He answered the phone sleepily and instantly asked what was wrong, as I sniffled down the phone. I explained about the mini monster in my hallway and that I needed him to come get it.

He huffed a little and without another question, he said ‘I’ll be there in 20 minutes’ – I was so HAPPY. I was being saved by my knight in shining armour! I watched and waited, I couldn’t take my eyes off the spider. I was terrified it would move and I would lose it. The 20 minutes felt like a lifetime. I heard a knock at the door – made me jump out of my skin! I opened it and pointed my boyfriend to the spider and with a quick grab, he had it in his hand and flushed it. (I know, I know.. how cruel, we need spiders.. blah, blah, blah). – I could finally go to sleep safe, knowing that there was no spiders!

I know to many of you this seems a little over the top, but honestly I can’t explain in enough words how petrified I am of them. I can’t look at photos, videos anything at all. When people post things about them on Facebook, I have screamed and chucked my phone across the room. Even thinking about them puts me on edge.

I clearly need therapy … or wine. Either one helps.

Much Love,

The Insider x

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