Pastey Vampires

I love being on holiday (as I’m sure we all do). The sea, the sun and sand. All of it. Although, it can be very expensive – Totally worth it though! I always go for half board when I go away. It’s so much cheaper! You get unlimited breakfast (so you can stuff your face), you don’t need lunch – I don’t eat lunch on holiday anyway, it’s too hot. Not to mention it interferes with my tanning time! Not good. You then have dinner which is usually a buffet (so all you can eat again!). All you’ll need to pay for is the drinks – This however can be just as costly as the whole holiday with the amount I drink.

I’m one of those people that everyone hates when I go on holiday. – Yes I post loads of pictures on all social media sites. Also privately I would send photos to my bestie, saying ‘have fun at work’ … ‘without me’. It would be a picture of me by the pool drinking a beer. – I’m so evil. (I LOVE IT). I hate it when my friends do it to me though.
You can always tell who’s English on holiday. They will be the ones that are pastey, looking like ghosts. Us Brits don’t see the sun much, so when we do we are like moths to a flame. Rushing to throw our towels on the sun beds by the pool (this annoys me). You’ll see all the dads, rushing, shoving to the pool to get the best seats. It’s like a fight to the death! You can also tells us Brits apart by the crowd as we are the ones that are as red as a lobster – Please feel sorry and pray for us poor souls. It takes us ages to tan! Our bodies aren’t used to the sun. I think of us as the vampires of the world. No sun. Only dark clouds. – So sad.

The holiday blues. This kicks in usually about an hour after you set foot on English soil. It’s back to normality. No sun, all gloomy, everyone moody/miserable. Yup. It sucks. Not to mention that your tan disappears almost instantly. It’s like your skin goes ‘Ahh back to our homeland, time to become a pastey vampire again’ … It melts away. It’s like our bodies don’t want us to look like Egyptian gods/goddesses! You forget that you have these things call jobs on holiday. You have to start doing things again. Going back to thousands of emails to sort through. Going back to the place that you so wanted to escape from on holiday. Knowing that your going to be working all the way up till Christmas. Depressing.

Even though your tan fades my friends, your memory of the holiday won’t! – Live while your young!

Much Love,

The Insider x

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