How Long Is An Hours Lunch?

I’m going to start by saying sorry to all the blondes that read this. – It’s nothing against you! I actually don’t understand the stigma of being blonde.

My ‘blonde’ moments could be sold to a comedian, I would make millions! The amount of  people that laugh at me for my ‘blonde’ moments is ridiculous. I’ll explain:

  1. Cambridge Soup. My mum was in the kitchen, I was on the stairs and my dad was in the bedroom. We were all choosing what we all wanted for dinner. My mum would be telling me what we have and I would be forwarding the message to my dad. My mum stated that we had soup – OXTAIL. Me being the idiot that I am, shouted up to may dad ‘We have Oxford soup’ (both of them burst into giggles, I had no idea why). My dad said ‘Do we have any Cambridge soup?’. So of course, I shout down the message to my mum ‘Do we have Cambridge soup?’, she burst into hysterics. I honestly had no idea why they were both laughing. My mum came up to me and explained that there is nothing called Cambridge soup and that my dad was messing around with me. – I have never felt so stupid in my life. I mean who on earth thinks Oxtail is Oxford?
  2. Hours Lunch. You know when your at school and you do work experience. Well I did work experience in a really big national company. Which is full of smart business people. I wanted to learn about HR work and what it involved. My documents came through to confirm may place and I was reading through them. It said that I get an hours lunch. I turned to my mum and said ‘Mum, how longs an hours lunch?’. She has never looked at me with such disappointment. She went on to say ’60 minutes? it’s 1 hour’. – The shock on my face must have looked like a picture. I could physically feel my face going red.
  3. Moo Cows. I was in the car with my step dad one day and was looking out the window, as you do with your headphones in. Bobbing away to my music, I started to look at the cows in the field. Innocently I turned to my dad and said ‘Dad what type of cows are they?’ – he said so casually ‘Moo Cows’. Puzzled I looked at him and asked ‘What are Moo cows?’, he said ‘Moooooo cows’. The only response I could give  was a scowl and said ‘you’re an idiot’.
  4. Quarters. I was talking to my boyfriend about basketball. He was talking to me about the positions, the players, the rule’s and how long the game was played for. He mentioned that the game was broken up into quarters. When he said this I said ‘How many quarters are there in a game’. – I swear, if I had a brain I would be dangerous. He just blinked slowly at me and looked away smirking.  Honestly, I’m lucky to have my boyfriend, he is stuck with me and as to love me. Even when I come out with stupid things.
  5. 500 miles. I’m one of those people that isn’t very good with how far things are. If someone was to say ‘Oh its 8 miles away’. I would have no idea how far that is. – I would have to ask them thats from my house to where? Just so I can understand. Anyway, I was at work one day talking to my old manager. He was saying ‘Don’t you know how far 500 miles is? My car can drive 500 miles on a full tank’. He got me to guess how far 500 miles was. I said ‘From Kettering to Manchester’ – I could’ve died. My manager just stood up and walked away shaking his head. All my colleagues just started laughing around me and couldn’t believe what I had just said. My manager walked back, shaking his head. He said that ‘Its from Kettering to Scotland’ – I’m so stupid. Why couldn’t I have just dived into a volcano right then and there. I will never live that down now.

You know, I kind of like my ‘blonde’ moments, makes everyone laugh and even makes me giggle after the embarrassment has worn off.

A little embarrassment is sometimes worth it.

Much Love,

The Insider x

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