I’ve been dealing with how I feel about my image for many years now. I know, I know everyone worries about their weight and the way they look to other people. However the way that I feel about myself feels as though it’s on another level. – Which I’m sure most people feel the same. What sets us all apart is how we each deal with the emotions that whirl around in our head. The feelings of helplessness, fear, hatred and disgust – are all words that my inner voices use about myself.
Suffering with low confidence and self-esteem, is rather common nowadays, with people thinking its some kind of trend. I don’t think it’s a trend or something to brag about, its something that I feel embarrassed of. I mean try to explain why you hate yourself is such a difficult experience. Especially if the person you are speaking to hasn’t been in your shoes they will look at you with a blank expression thinking that your crazy. Saying the words ‘I hate myself’ or ‘I’m fat/ugly, no one wants me’ – Imagine saying that to your friends or mum/dad. They surely wouldn’t ever understand what you see in your eyes. They will try and tell you all the beautiful, positive things about you, but not being able to see these things or believe them is the worst part of it all.
I can see people getting frustrated with me, my boyfriend, my parents and even my friends. – I can understand why they get annoyed, it’s because they love me and can see all the amazing qualities. When I say that I can’t see these or say that I don’t believe them, I see them rolling their eyes and telling me that I need to ‘think of the positives’ or ‘stop feeling like the victim’ these phrases hurt and cut deep. When I’m in these ‘moods’ ‘low moments’ its like whatever people say goes in one ear and out the other. The only thing you can focus on is the worst things about you – Such as, no one likes me, I’m obese, I’m not with it, I’m not good enough, I’m ugly.
Then when I come out of these ‘low moments’ I sit there thinking that people are right, I should think about all the good things. However in those moments you can’t think of anything good, then when you come round you start to feel 10x worse because you know your ‘low moods’ are nothing in comparison to people with ‘real problems’ (Illnesses, diseases, loss of limbs) – With this I then start to feel worse, then the cycle starts again. At this point I am going to state, that mental health is just as important. As I mention in an earlier blog, mental health affects so many people.
I’ve since came to the conclusion that I DON’T CARE ANYMORE. I’m fed up of feeling the hatred for myself, fed up of feeling low, fed up of worrying about what other people think and just totally fed up of the exhaustion. I need to think positively about life and realise that I can’t always control things that happen. WORRYING is pointless and a useless emotion. Who cares what anyone else thinks, if you have people who care and love you that’s all that matters in life. You can’t moan about you weight or how you feel about yourself if you haven’t at least tried to change.
Its time to think POSITIVE and time to CHANGE.
There are 10 things that I do on a daily basis to stay positive:
1. Smile – Simply smiling can make you feel so much better about the day.
2. Help People – This can make you feel good about yourself, giving back to others.
3. Surround Yourself With Positive People – Like my bestfriend. Always happy and smiley.
4. Eat Healthy – By keeping an eye on what you’re eating really helps with your energy, therefore helps the way you feel.
5. Exercise often – This helps by keeping stress levels down and produces endorphins.
6. Getting A Pet – Pets are a great comfort and help create & keep a calm atmosphere.
7. Talk To People – This helps to understand how you’re feeling and overcome your negative thoughts.
8. Celebrate Your Accomplishments – No matter how big or small, always give yourself a pat on the back!
9. Stop The Worry – Worrying is the biggest waste of time and usually something that you aren’t able to control. – SUCH A WASTE OF ENERGY!
10. DON’T GIVE A SH** – Do whatever it is yosu want to do and have fun doing it!
I know better than most, that it isn’t easy. I can openly tell you all that I still have melt downs and still have the feelings of being lost and not wanting to leave my bed. However I remember these 10 steps that I can follow in my every day life that helps me to get through the day without breaking down.
My lovely followers, if any of you are feeling low about yourself. Please try some of the above techniques as they really do help!
The only advice I’m going to give you, is take your time, breathe things aren’t going to change over night. You are going to have to work hard at it.
I know that you can all do it.
Smile my lovelies. You CAN do it.
The Insider x