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YAY!

Insiders! I got the job! – Well it’s not technically a job however its a programme. 

But not just any programme, it is a managers programme! I’ve never been so excited about work – Ever! Feeling a little bit woozy at the same time but mainly excited! 

I’m extremely proud of myself for being able to get a place on this course. I applied last year with the feedback of me needing to gain more experience in my department. At the time I was so gutted that I didn’t get it, however looking back I can clearly see that I wasn’t any where near ready for the opportunity then. I have grown so much in the last year not only at work but also within myself. For me I believe that if you don’t get something straight away, it means that you’re not ready however something else might come up that will help you get to the place that you want to be. – For me this was SO true. 

In the last year I have moved up the ranks and started working more and more closely with management. Building my profile, working with new starters, proving that I have more to offer. Gaining the knowledge and confidence needed to progress my career and prove that I’m ready. 

The interview process was MAJORLY hard. Honestly if I hadn’t been through it last year I would be absolutely freaking out (just like I did last year!). Not to mention this time round I was actually up against my bestie! – It was so hard. She was asking me about what I thought of her answers to the questions that might come up. I was trying to stay mutual and give little away as possible as to what my answers were like. I didn’t want to see her fail and I did cave in a couple of times and told her what the process was like last time and what kind of thing they are going to be looking for. Anyway…

The process consists of a one to one interview and then a group exercise. Now my one to one interview was meant to be carried out on the 03.01.18 however I was at a previous engagement that was important to me and my family. I mentioned this to the head of our department and it may have been the case that I would miss out on the opportunity due to this. – This kicked me in the stomach and honestly felt as though this would be a little unfair. I really wanted this. 

2 days before the day of the interview, I got an email confirming that they had re-arranged my interview and also the group interview for me to attend. – OMG I was bouncing of the walls I was so happy! although, this only gave me 2 days to prepare. I guess I would’ve had something already prepared just in case this happened. I didn’t even know who was interviewing me, but I didn’t care. My bestie had her one to one interview on the 03.01.18 and messaged me straight after confirming that she had one of the head offs and team managers interview her and it as hard. She said she thought that she did well. That made me smile but also get a little pit in my stomach. 

I actually went in at 8am on the day of my interview to prepare as much as I could. my interview was at 9:30 so I sat down in a quiet room and started thinking and making spider-diagrams. I felt hopeless. I just couldn’t seem to keep my mind straight and concentrating. I gave up by 8:45 and went over to my old manager – that I see more as a friend and asked him to take my mind off it. Which he did a great job of. Making me laugh and building up my confidence before hand. I could see what he was trying to do, he was getting me to relax. At the end of the day, the people who were going to interview me, knew me, knew my reputation, I still had a job at the end of if. It’s not the end all and be all. – I can always count on him to help. I think its important to have people that bring you back to normality by bagging your head on a table (he doesn’t do this physically by the way!! – He just gets me to refocus). 

9:25 came. I went to the room in which they stated they were going to hold my interview. All of a sudden, one of the heads came over and mentioned that she was going to do my interview with the other head of the department.  I thought I was going to puke. Just to help you Insiders out, we have 2 head of department. 1 man and 1 women. For this I’m going to call her Lady and him Gent. – Me and Lady have a great relationship and have had loads of conversations before and I think she’s lovely. Gent, he’s rather knew and I’ve only met him once. We all sat down in the glass room and introduced ourselves and had a little laugh to relax ourselves in. Lady was the note taker and Gent was the one asking me the questions. I felt as though time had stood still. Whenever I got nervous I would look at Lady and she would be eagerly smiling at me giving me the boost of confidence I needed. At the end we all had a giggle and they said am I ready for the group exercise at 11:30. I said ‘Yes I like that challenge, Its fun’ – They both laughed. 

I walked back to my desk and my bestie and other friends came up to me and asked who interviewed me. They all looked shocked and amazed that it was both of the heads that interviewed me. – I felt a little pride at saying ‘yeah, I had Lady and Gent’. No one else did, this made me feel a little special – Stupid I know. 

The group interview came and there was around 12/13 of us in there with 14/15 managers in there observing. Including my old manager and new one! – GREAT more pressure. I guess I was confident in this one as it was a scenario that you had to work through as a team. Showing your leadership and influencing skills. Not to mentioned I was sitting next to my bestie and could see another of my close friends in front of me. 

Anyway….

When it was all over I carried on my normal shift which was working until 8pm. I DID A 12 HOUR DAY!  This killed me! I felt dead by the end of it.

We found out 2 days later. I came in around 9am and Lady and my manager grabbed me and took me into a room and told me… I was holding my breath, really hoping it was good news. And it was! I couldn’t stop myself from smiling! They both looked at me and said that hey were PROUD of me. – This made me feel so so happy and confident. Lady said that it was well deserved and that I had worked hard for it. Although I needed to keep quiet for now. She left the room and my manager grabbed me, saying how proud he was and that I was beaming. I was just so excited! Lady said that I needed to go and tell my mum (who works 2 floors down from me). 

I knew before anyone else. I had to wait and keep my mouth shut. Which was fine as I didn’t want to upset anyone. Eventually emails and phone calls were made. Everyone knew. Managers, started coming up to me congratulating me, hugging me, telling me what they knew I would get it, that it was well deserved. For me and everything that I was going through it was relieving to hear this from everyone. My bestie ran up to me and said that she didn’t get it however she had such a BIG smile ‘Tell me you got it. You had to get it!!’ – I fed off her excitement nodded. She jumped on me and hugged me. – Now that’s a bestfriend.

Not everyone reacted very well and took it out on me and others. Some people didn’t say well done or even speak to me for days. I felt awful. – At the end of the day this was my achievement and I’m happy. 

I guess the moral is don’t expect everyone to be happy for you even if you thought they were your friends. Those that are happy for you, are your true friends and are the most amazing human beings. 

That’s my good 2018 news Insiders! I hope you’ve had a good start to the year just like I have!

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

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