Alone

Evening Insiders,

I feel as though I’m sinking … again. Its horrible. I’ve been on top of the world for sooo long, it was only a matter of time that I would fall. I’ve got a promotion at work, I’ve got an amazing family, good friends however I feel more alone than ever.

I’ve made new friends recently, the kind of friends that don’t have any idea of what I go through on a daily basis. You know having the mental battle to think positively and keep going. Talking to yourself not to have any melt downs. How can you tell new friends that when they don’t reply to you, you feel as though you’ve done something. You feel like your annoying them. You feel as though they hate you. You feel as though your not good enough to be there friend.

I know I’m being stupid but its hard to stop the way that I feel.

Insiders, those of you that have dealt with anxiety knows that these feelings are stupidly common and unfortunately take control. Even when you know you haven’t done anything wrong. I have to think realistically. Not everyone glued to there phone like me. They have lives, boyfriends, girlfriends, families, dinners and holidays. Just because they don’t reply back in 5-10 minutes doesn’t automatically mean they hate you or your annoying them. – STOP. THINK. BREATHE.

You know I think it’s time Insiders to tell some of my new friends my battle so they understand if I come across needy or clingy..

what’s the worst that can happen? They stop talking to me? – If that’s the case, I don’t need them… Right?

Much Love,

The Insider x

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