Drifting Away …

Dear Insider

I feel as though me and my bestfriend are drifting apart. She’s recently got a new boyfriend and seems to be spending all her time with him. She’s changing and I hate whats she’s changing into. I hate her boyfriend too. Which can make things awkward.

Can you help me at all? Would like some advise on how to get through this.

Thanks,

Megan xx


 

Hi Megan,

Ooo tough one. I guess, what you need to do is be honest with your bestie. There is no reason as to why you can’t be honest with your feelings. I know for a fact that if my bestie needed to say something – I would want her to be honest and tell me, no matter if it hurts or not. 

Its one of those conversations that horrible to have, but nothing will get better unless you talk to her about it. 

Not liking the boyfriend. I myself have experienced this. One of my old friends from school is dating a right ‘Idiot’ (putting it nicely) – and I can’t stand him. This has in a way drove me and that friend apart but that’s only because I couldn’t stand to be around him and I didn’t tell her how I felt. If you and you bestie are close, then I really suggest telling her how you feel about him. There is nothing worse than keeping something locked up especially when you’re going to be in situations when you’re going to have to be in close proximity with him. If its uncomfortable, remove yourself from the equation. 

Just be honest with your friend. Say: ‘I know you much you like this guy, but I don’t. As long as your happy then so am I. However I only want to hang around you (not him as well)’ – If you’re really besties with this girl she will understand and accept how you feel. 

Honest is the best policy! 

Much Love,

The Insider x 

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Friend Zoned! – Help!

Dear Insider,

I’ve been in love with my best friend for 2 years. However, it’s the typical cliché, she’s friend zoned me!

Any suggestions to win her over?

Michael.


 

Hey Micheal!

Me and my current boyfriend have been best friends for 8 years, and have been together for 4. So the other half we were just so close it was unreal.

It had felt like I had friend-zoned him, and he had friend-zoned me, we never seem to catch a break. I was always in a relationship, and he was always in a relationship, it just SUCKED!

Don’t worry though, being friend-zoned doesn’t mean you’re out of the game! It actually means you’re an Insider. Being best friends means they trust you, they open up to you. You’re their Go-To-Guy! This gives you an advantage. Use your Inside knowledge as a guide to get you ahead. You know what makes her happy, you know her interests, you know her likes and dislikes so use this information.

The best boyfriends are often the ones they’re most closest to BUT may need help realising! My advice, is to keep being her best friend but also through in a romantic gesture every now and again (or just tell her!) – Sometimes girls need help realising whats in front of them. 

Much love

The Insider x

New Job!

Dear Insider,

Ive recently applied for a new job role within a company that I’ve never worked for before. My only experience is working within a warehouse. I really was this job as its more money and I won’t have to be working on my feet for long hours of the day. I don’t know how to calm my nerves.

Any advice for keeping calm?

Thank you,

Cane.


 

Hey Cane!

Oh, don’t you worry, you’re not the only one that feels this way when applying for a new job. – It can be daunting. I myself have just applied for a new job (within he same company). I’m one of those people that once I have submitted the application I started to panic. It whirls around in my head, thinking is there anything else I could have put, what if they don’t like it – Blah Blah Blah. 

These feelings are all normal. What you need to remember that once you’ve submitted the application you can’t do anything else. Its now out of your hands. You just need to believe in yourself and breath. I know, I know, this is much easier said than done. However, taking deep slow breaths  can help to relax your mind and think more clearly. 

The reason why we worry about things like this is because of our fear of failure. This can be a huge obstacle for many of us. However its how you cope with failure once its upon you (IM NOT SAYING YOU WILL FAIL), but we must be resilient with any set backs we might face. – For me, I the applied for this job 3 times already but I bounce back every time and try again. Just remember take deep slow breaths, and remember you are good enough for the jobs role. However at this point there is nothing more you can do. 

Try doing things to take your mind of it. Go out with friends, do some house work, read a book, anything that will stimulate your brain to focus on something else. When your busy you can’t think about all the ‘What Ifs’ … 

– Cane, you’ll be absolutely fine. Breath, Smile & Relax. 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

My Bestfriend Is Being Cheated On.

Dear Insider,

Please HELP me. I’ve recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her for around 6 months now. I found out, when I was out partying in Leeds a few weeks ago. I’ve done some digging and found out that the girl that he has been cheating with, is someone who my bestfriend believes to be his cousin! I don’t want to hurt my best friend and really don’t know how to bring it up. – Should I tell her or let her find out by herself? I’m scared that she will be upset and mad at me for being the bearer of bad news. – I’m so torn, please help. (I really don’t want her to hate me).

Joanna x


 

Hi Joanna, 

WOW. I read this one and my jaw actually hit the floor. Honestly this guy sounds like a right sleezeball. If you and your bestie are like me and mine, then you need to tell her whats going on. By standing back and letting it carry on, in a way is turning a blind eye to it. – You don’t want your bestfriend to be hurt – I understand that. However, she will be more hurt in the long run if you haven’t told her up-front. Just imagine her finding out from someone else and her finding out you knew. – Awkward! (It would make everything 10x worse, trust me). 

Yes, she will be upset/mad at first but in the long run she will thank you for telling her. If you don’t she will be wasting her time for months maybe even years with a guy that is truly messing her around. No on deserves that. There is no way that she can hate you for being honest. Honesty is the best policy! – Get her over to yours, make her a coffee (or a glass of wine will work), and just tell her. It’ll feel like ripping off a plaster, it hurts at first but it heals. – Just look after her.

You’ll just need to be there for her as much as you can. It’s going to be hard for her to hear and understand at first but when she overcomes the shock, this is when she is going to need you the most. – I’m sure we all know that being cheated on is no laughing matter and really hurts. 

I hope your bestie will be ok! – With a bestfriend like you, I know she’ll get through it! 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

My Brother Is Dating My Bestfriend

Dear Insider,

I don’t know how to feel about my bestfriend dating my brother. I’ve been bestfriends with this girl for like, forever! Now, she’s dating my brother who is 3 years older than us. I don’t know how to feel about it. Confused.com – Please can you help me?

Thanx

Jess


Hey Jess!

Believe it or not, this is more common than you think! – I remember growing up I had a crush on my friends brother and actually kissed him! (Thinking back, its cringey! YUCK!) – At the time when this happened, I never thought of how my friend must have felt. Perhaps with your friend all loved up, she hasn’t realised how weird it must be for you. What I suggest is that you speak to your bestfriend and explain that it might take you a while to register and be comfortable that they are together.

Some would say it’s crossing a boundary, however I don’t think you can control who you fall for.

BUT first and foremost, you need to sit down with each of them and tell them how you’re feeling. You never know, your bestfriend may become your sister-in-law! – I don’t know about you but I would love my bestie to become my ACTUAL sister in law! How amazing would that be?!

Much Love, 

The Insider x