Handbags Vs Clothes

I think I’ve mentioned before that I find Shopping a little tedious and sometimes stressful.

I’ve been out shopping with my bestie all day. She’s this gorgeous size 10 with big boobs and flat stomach (jealous!). Whilst I’m a chubby size 18 and lumps and bumps in the wrong places!

She can wear a dish cloth and she’d look fabulous. Whilst me, I look stupid in just a black old Tshirt. I have to look for the bigger sizes which most shops don’t even go up too. I have to look for the flowy, baggy clothes so that none of my chubbiness.

I hate it. I mean, I love going shopping with her. I love seeing her try on all these amazing clothes and tops. I love being able to talk her into treating herself. However, I’ll pick out a few things that I love but they don’t look good at all. I mean, I’ll pick my size, hold my breath in the fitting room. Then – my eyes traveling down my reflection in the mirror. Ok, it looks good on the neck line, flows nicely on my stomach area but it’s all too good to be true. It’s too tight on my arms. Sadly I have rather fatty upper arms.

If it’s not my arms, it’s my waist, if it’s not my waist it’s my boobs. Honestly my body is awful to try and dress. I really hits my confidence. It’s as though, my body lets me down and I end up buying nothing. I can’t explain how low I get.

However handbags. Now handbags never make me feel sad. They never make me feel as though I’m fat or ugly. You can never have too many handbags! There is so many to choose from! Different sizes, different colours, different fabrics. Each and everyone will suit you. You don’t have to worry about them not looking good on you.

So today, I didn’t manage to find any clothes that looked good on me, so I brought a brand new handbag! It’s GORGEOUS! A lovely mustard colour. Ooh I’m trying not to drawl whilst thinking about it.

If I sold my handbag collection I would probably have a deposit for a house! – No word of a lie!

Much Love,

The Insider x



Evening Insiders, 

Annoyingly I’m sick. Honestly I hate being sick.

It’s a mixture of emotions. My anxiety builds up as I have to call into work and say that I’m not able to go in. The very thought of this freaks me out and I can feel my heart in my throat. I hate not going to work – Yes, some may say that I’m a workaholic, or that I live to work. All of this isn’t necessarily correct. I’m just terrified of being in trouble and I see that not going into work as me going to be getting in trouble – Stupid I know. However, the more time you have off work for being sick this can eventually get you in trouble with work. I have seen people be in trouble for having so much sick time. – Being rational about it all, I this is actually the 1st maybe 2nd day that I’ve had off in 2 years for being sick. So I guess you could say I’m safe and won’t be in trouble. Still this doesn’t stop me feeling that way. 

At the end of the day I just don’t have the time to be sick. I’ve got so much work going on at the moment, all amazingly GOOD things, which take a lot of energy and a lot of my time. Having a day off sick today was super annoying.  I had so much booked in, in my calendar. Which I’m going to have to catch up on tomorrow. On top of a long stressful day as it is! – UGH. 

This was the feelings that I had this morning. I was getting up, doing my make up, getting ready for work. Then all of a sudden my stomach felt like it was going to explode. In the night I had been tossing and turning with a bad stomach however when I woke I felt fine. Then BAM, I had just finished an amazing smokey eye look (I was very proud of), when I just had such a huge urge to go to the toilet. – Yupp. The toilet was my bestfriend for the whole day. 

Everyone seems to be getting sick at the moment, we are all dropping like flies! Especially in an office job which I’m in, with the ventilation and closeness with others, as soon as one person sniffs everyone’s sick. It’s rather disgusting and annoying. I often think that we should all go to work with the medical masks on like the Chinese/Japanese do due to pollution. (NO OFFENCE INTENDED IN THAT STATEMENT). There is the odd person (like me) that will never admit they are sick and will push through it. However, us strong people who do this, end up looking like living zombies! 

I was SO annoyed. I mean girls, you must know how hard it is to get the right angle and shade of a smokey eye. I had perfected it. Then my stupid stomach was like NOPE, NO ONE IS GOING TO SEE THIS MASTER PIECE TODAY. 

After what must have been an hour on the toilet, I tried calling my work, to say to them I wasn’t going to be able to make it into work. I think I must have tried 8 times to call into work between 10am -12pm. No one seemed to answer. Whenever I’m at work, I aways see the absence phone in a managers hand and they answer it within seconds. When I call, this doesn’t happen. It was tedious! I then had to tell my bestie that I wasn’t coming in and had to ask her to tell my manager. It was hard, to call at a time where I wasn’t on the toilet. – Thankfully she told one of my friends that a manager. 

I knew that my manager would end up ringing me throughout the day to ensure that I was ok and basically to check up and collaborate my story of being sick and not partying. – Which I can assure you, I was glued to the toilet all day. I knew that his cal would be occurring as soon as he was told about me not coming in. What if I was on the toilet? – I mean how embarrassing would that have been? Imagine speaking to your manager when your on the toilet. I think I would have died in a fit of embarrassment. I wouldn’t ever be able to live that kind of thing down. – Whenever you’re in the bathroom, either in the shower, in the bath or on the toilet, somehow everyone seems to know! There is clearly an echo that is very distinctive and linked to a bathroom. When I call my boyfriend on the way home from work, I’m always, ALWAYS able to tell when he’s poopin. (God if he reads this he will NOT be happy!). 

Anyway I can confirm to all of you Insiders that my boss didn’t call me when I was on the toilet, I was actually in bed sleeping. I mean I had just managed to drift off into a deep sleep and he called me! Typical! – How inconsiderate of him? I actually didn’t wake up quick enough to catch the phone call. I had to call back on the number and talk to him. I actually told him off for waking me up! He apologised a lot and told me to go back to sleep and rest. – Bless him. 

I’m feeling a lot better after, 4 hours on the toilet, 3 naps and a long old soak in the bath. – Very much ready for a LONG and BUSY work tomorrow! 

Early night for me Insiders!

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

Drifting Away …

Dear Insider

I feel as though me and my bestfriend are drifting apart. She’s recently got a new boyfriend and seems to be spending all her time with him. She’s changing and I hate whats she’s changing into. I hate her boyfriend too. Which can make things awkward.

Can you help me at all? Would like some advise on how to get through this.


Megan xx


Hi Megan,

Ooo tough one. I guess, what you need to do is be honest with your bestie. There is no reason as to why you can’t be honest with your feelings. I know for a fact that if my bestie needed to say something – I would want her to be honest and tell me, no matter if it hurts or not. 

Its one of those conversations that horrible to have, but nothing will get better unless you talk to her about it. 

Not liking the boyfriend. I myself have experienced this. One of my old friends from school is dating a right ‘Idiot’ (putting it nicely) – and I can’t stand him. This has in a way drove me and that friend apart but that’s only because I couldn’t stand to be around him and I didn’t tell her how I felt. If you and you bestie are close, then I really suggest telling her how you feel about him. There is nothing worse than keeping something locked up especially when you’re going to be in situations when you’re going to have to be in close proximity with him. If its uncomfortable, remove yourself from the equation. 

Just be honest with your friend. Say: ‘I know you much you like this guy, but I don’t. As long as your happy then so am I. However I only want to hang around you (not him as well)’ – If you’re really besties with this girl she will understand and accept how you feel. 

Honest is the best policy! 

Much Love,

The Insider x 

The Birmingham Adventure Part 2

Back again Insiders! – Part 2.

So we stupidly got into a taxi with 2 guys (which I have already been told off for by my mum) – rightly so. However we are alive and they weren’t murderers. They were actually lovely guys. We actually stayed with them for the rest of the night. We ended up on broad street. For all of you that know the area,  this is known as the highlight area for clubbing, drinking, bars everything. You literally walk up and down one road that has all the bars and clubs you could ever want. Ranging from RnB, Rock, Pop, Old School everything!

The most annoying this is that people randomly come up to you trying to get you into their bar or club. ‘Free shots’ ‘£1 shots’ ‘Half price entry’ ‘wrist bands here’ – Literally its lie you’ve never been so wanted in your life! We randomly picked a bar said that there was £1 shots, so as my bestie loves shots we headed in. I love my bestie, the best way to get to know new people is to do tequila shots with them. Breaks the ice every time! My besties starts off the round, I then followed ordering more shots. These poor guys had no idea what they were getting themselves in for. However they kept up pretty good and took all the shots we gave them. – Fair play. We turned round to see that this bar/club place was dead. I love places that are packed, as no one is really paying attention to you. This was not like that at all.

We decided to leave. Heading up the road we got approached by one of promoters for a club. My bestie has been out in Birmingham before and jumped and squealed! She knew the club that was being promoted. She was really raving about it and so we got our wrist bands and continued to walk up the street. We got chatting to these guys and found out that they are rather well-educated and rather decent jobs – Lucky.

Finally reaching the club at around 2:00am, people had been queuing up and there was loads of security. Now from where I’m from we don’t have any clubs that have body searches, metal detectors, facial recognition and security. I looked at my friend and was like, what kind of place is this? – I was thinking the worst, obviously thinking people had been stabbed, killed, seriously injured – However my bestie said ‘Nope, it’s just so big here they need to keep check of who is in the cub’ … Hmm. we all got through OK (obviously as non of us are killers or had any sharp objects). I now understood what my bestie meant. This place was big. Like Big as in a House Of Fraser/Debenhams BIG. There was more than one club in the building.

You could walk into one room and have old school music – Mcfly, High School Musical, Busted that kind of thing then go into another room which is RnB! I must admit I was pretty amazed. In all honesty all of us seemed to like the old music room better. I mean it must have been like we were trying to re-live are youth or something! That’s how it felt anyway. – Needless to say we all got along, dancing away drinking, singing and everything! It must have been around 4pm when security started to move people out of the club.

We shared a taxi back to the hotel and said bye to our new friends and we went are separate ways. – Insiders, I am going to express how safe you need to be when on a night out. I know it may seem that overtime I’m out with my bestie that we meet new people and she taxis with completed strangers, but please please please remember that you shouldn’t do this. Yes these guys were nice, but one day they might not be. Its stupid decisions the me and my bestie make – Please don’t follow in our footsteps. STAY SAFE.

The guys that we met actually made mine and my besties night. Absolutely great lads that cheered us up when we were having such a sh** start to the night.

Anyway as you can imagine getting back at 4:30am was a killer, especially when we had planned to go shopping all day on the Saturday. HUNGOVER – Understatement. Retail therapy was much-needed. Didn’t quiet cure the headache though.

Remember Insiders, on a night out stay safe, you don’t know what idiots are out there.

Much Love,

The Insider x

The Birmingham Adventure Part 1

Ok Insiders! – I know, I know its been a few days since I’ve blogged or even done an Ask The Insider. There is good reason for this. Me and bestie had another adventure. Now this story is very tragic and I’m sure it’ll have most of you in stitches!

I’ll start from the beginning:

Stupidly me and my bestie had worked a 12 hour day on Friday. Yes, I know sad or what? We started at 8am and finished at 8pm. My lovely boyfriend was kind enough to pick us up from work and take us to the train station to head down to Birmingham for a girly weekend. – This girly weekend was much needed! We booked our tickets and off we went.

Fast-forwarding to when we got to Birmingham Station. We had lugged these really big bags (full to the brim with clothes, shoes and make up – as you an imagine), off the train. By the time we got to the station it was around 10:30pm. Great timing in order to find the hotel and get ready to go out. Although, food was a necessity at this point. We were extremely hungry and needed food fast. Me and my bestie get a little hangry if we haven’t eaten in a while. – When I say this, I mean everyone needs to back off, we turn into monsters.

So, we grabbed a McDonalds (as you do) and headed to the hotel which wasn’t too far, it must’ve been a 2 minute walk. We go to the hotel that I booked. **WHY DID MY BESTIE LET ME BOOK THE HOTEL** – We walked in and it seemed nice enough, we booked in and headed to the lift. The lift however scary. There was only 1 of them working. We walked into the lift and 3 other guys had come into it as well. This lift seemed so unsafe, it made all these scary noises, it smelt and was really small. The guys in the lift were speaking a language that we didn’t know and every other word was a swear word. They were getting a little aggressive to each other as they had all been drinking – (Well still drinking). They got off on another floor (thankfully). The doors closed and started to move slowly again. All of a sudden, we heard a loud noise – It sounded like a fire alarm. Our hearts started to race as we didn’t know what was going on. We managed to get to the floor in which or hotel was on and literally ran out the lift. – I hate lifts.

When we got of the lift we were greeted with the STENCH of WEED. I hate the smell of weed and its unpleasant to smell especially if 1. You’re not a smoker 2. In a hotel! – Some people are just so inconsiderate. Just imagine if there was children in the hotel and they smell that. It’s not good! Finding our room was like Mission Impossible. The layout of the hotel was like a maze. It took us 5-10 minutes just to find the bloody room. I get irritated and frustrated very easily and this was really toying with my patience. We FINALLY found the room and opened the door, expecting an amazing room with double bed. NOPE. NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL.  The room had no windows, the bed was small and felt like cardboard, the sheets were like paper, the bathroom stank and had mould along the sides, thick black muck along the skirting boards – UGH it was just disgusting. We sat down on the bed and looked at each other as we ate our food. We could hear people outside the door shouting and banging on the doors. I got up and locked the door – Which wouldn’t have done any help as the lock was a small flimsy chain. The room didn’t have any safe locking system. I turned round and looked at my bestie. We must have read each others minds. We wanted to leave.

We started looking at other hotels. Luckily we found a premier inn which had rooms available we grabbed our bags and headed to the reception. There was no way that we were getting into the lift again and went down the stairs. I’m going to tell you now, we were on the 9th floor. Lugging our bags down the stairs was such a ball ache! We handed the key back in gave a really bad excuse as to why we needed to leave.

We ran out of the hotel and round the corner to the premier inn. When we got too the doors, there was a security guard that has to buzz you in to make sure you’re not drunken idiots. – This place was so nice and felt so much safer. We booked into a lovely double room, it was all cleaned and just amazing. Before we went to the room we went straight to the bar and got ourselves a bottle of wine to take up with us. The lady behind the bar had asked us what had happened and what we are going to be doing this evening. She had mentioned that the hotel that we had been at was known for being sh**. She then showed us exactly where we could go for a good night out. – LOVELY LADY!

We entered the room and immediately felt better and started getting ready with the glasses of wine. – WINE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. We had music on, dancing around the room, doing our make up and hair. We looked at the time it was 12:30am. We needed to hurry and get out to the clubs. All dressed to impress we went out and wondered the streets to find a bar or club. – No luck. Google maps wasnt helping too much as we kept getting lost. Now girls, you all know that walking around in heels in a city you don’t know hurts like mad. We started to get demotivated and was about to head back to the hotel when we got approached by 2 guys,…

Now, if you’ve read my previous blogs with my bestie we always seem to make friends on a night out… These guys looked just as lost as we did. They had asked if we new where any good bars or clubs were. We both looked at each other and was like nope.. So we all ended up tagging along with each other – We all booked a taxi (I know, I know stranger danger) and headed to some clubs…. Thats when the night started.

OK Insiders, this is a long blog, so stay tuned for part 2 of The Birmingham Adventure!

Much Love,

The Insider x