4 Years!

Well Insiders,

I don’t know how my boyfriend has done it. However we have reached the bench mark of 4 years! How AMAZING is that?! Its crazy! It really doesn’t feel as though its been as long as that! – I guess thats a good thing.

Im sure I’ve mentioned previously that we’ve been best friends for like 8 years now. Half of that time we have been together! I can honestly say that I don’t know what I would do without him in my life. He’s always been there for me, especially now that I’m going through all this emotional sh**. He’s not been scared off at all, when most would. He’s an amazing human being.

Our anniversary is smack bang in the middle of January. This is a little annoying as we have just had Christmas and our employer pays early in December for late Christmas shopping. This is great but means everyone is living on rations for the rest of the month until January pay day. SO LONG. Anyway, with our anniversary being in the middle of January it means that we decide to have a lovely, cozy day/night in.

This year was by far the best anniversary for me. – No, no ring Insiders, I bet thats what all of you were thinking, but nope, not yet! You’ll all be the first to know when that happens! I’ll tell you what though! It’s super annoying when people ask how long me and my boyfriend have been together and everyone says ‘Ooh, no ring yet?!’ – I just want to scream in their faces, ‘NO and it doesn’t matter! A ring doesn’t mean he loves me any less! – Not to mention we are only just into our 20s!’. Its crazy how so many people think its important to have a ring to just symbolise their love. Im definitely not against marriage or anything like that – I’d be thrilled however, I think its rude saying that kind of thing to others when you don’t know what their situation is or if they are even ready.. 

Anyway… Mini rant over…

We had both booked the day off work and had the whole day together watching Disney films. I made him breakfast, which wasn’t a total disaster. The fire alarm went off but other than that it went off without a hitch! – We then retired to the snug and watched LOADS of Disney films, with chocolates/sweets. I know, I know, how old are we? I believe that your never to old for Disney! No matter how old you are, you’ll always be able to be cheered up by a Disney/Pixar film. – If you don’t agree, you can bibbidi bobbidi back hell off my blog (just kidding or am I….?!). He then went to make dinner – My favourite! Sausage, mash and beans. YUM!! – this wasn’t a romantic dinner, as it did get crashed by my mum and dad. THANKS GUYS! (not). 

We both agreed on no presents this year as we were both struggling for money after Christmas. All we said was cards. I’m not going to lie, cards are my favourite part of any celebration. My boyfriend is the soppiest person in the world and writes the most amazing things to me. All about how much he loves me. To me, this means more than any present as he has spent time to think and write lovely things to me. – Such a CUTIE!

Gosh I LOVE HIM. – I’d be so lost without him.

Much Love,

The Insider x 

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I Lava You x

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. I’ve been with him for almost 4 years now. It feels like I’ve known him my whole life. I think I was around 12/13 years old when I met him – I know right, he has known me through my ugly duckling stages! The days in which my eyebrows didn’t match! – Honestly I don’t know what the hell he saw in me.

Clearly I haven’t been with him all this time, I’ve had previous boyfriends and he’s had a previous girlfriend. My old boyfriends would get annoyed and jealous of my now boyfriend as I would always be talking to him, talking about him (Me being the innocent person I was, didn’t realise this looked bad). However, I would get so jealous when he would text me saying ‘Im with my girlfriend, I can’t talk now, ill message you later’ – OMG this would annoy the hell out of me. – I would get really stroppy with him. I swear it must have been like he had 2 girlfriends! – Bless him.

Whenever he messaged me I would always have a smile/smirk on my face. Back in the day, when I was at school I would hide my phone under the desk and text him back – All my friends knew who I was texting because of my face. I used to get that girly feeling all the time.

Anyway he was my best friend (still is) throughout all my school years. He was that guy that I would fall asleep texting and wake up eagerly looking to see if he has messaged back. I would tell him anything and everything. He went through all my break ups with other guys, getting our exam results and everything!

From the first day I met him I fell. I knew that he was someone special. He had blonde spiked up hair, was smaller than me, wearing a football shirt, shorts and socks all pulled up. Now yes his fashion sense back then sounds a little out there but he was super cute! He had a 6 pack and everything! (Not so much now but that’s because we have become so comfortable together). I would always look at him and go all red in the face. He walked me home once (It was around a 40 minute walk), I was so nervous and honestly when he hugged me I thought my knees were going to fall from under me. – We actually didn’t physically see each other for years, however spoke every single day. We spoke on MSN, Facebook, Skype and also by texting. We would stay up to 2AM talking, it was never boring. We would be talking all day and still never get bored.

When we started meeting up again (we must have been around 17) – He had just passed his driving test (Finally! Took him a few times with his theory!). I was single and so was he, this was unheard of! We had never both been single at the same time. I was so nervous, I never understood why, I mean I spoke to this guy every day for so many years but now I was meeting him for the first time in years and it all felt real all of a sudden. He knocked on my door, my heart stopped. When I opened the door, I had to remind myself to breathe, here was my bestfriend, 6ft 2in (so much taller than I remembered), hair swept back (no more blonde), gorgeous green eyes, goofy smile. This was no longer the boy that I remembered, he had turned into this handsome man. – It was so weird, I mean, I had seen him all the time on Facebook and Skype however seeing him standing in front of me, it was like I was seeing him for the first time. – I thought that he was the most handsome guy I had ever seen.

Long story short, we started dating around 3 months after meeting up again. It just felt natural. Like nothing had changed. The first time we kissed, OMG it was like fireworks set off in my mind. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. (Even as I write this I can’t help but smile). – He was so nervous and I was so nervous as well. I mean the atmosphere went completely tense, my heart was in my throat. Being honest, I had waited for this day since I had first met him.

He literally does anything for me. Anything. He takes care of me, one time I was so sick and the week before I fell in love with a little elephant teddy. He came over with the elephant teddy and a bunch of chocolate to make me feel better. I will point out that elephants are my favourite animal. Heffalumps are adorable. He is always looking after me. Especially with what I’m going through at the moment, he is the only one that I will listen too when in my lowest moments. He is the only I want to calm me down. He doesn’t necessarily have to do anything, but he grabs me in his arms and holds me. This is enough to calm me. I can’t explain how it makes me feel just to be in his arms. I guess the only way I can explain it is, I feel safe.

He is honestly the most amazing human being I’ve ever met. He is so kind, caring, lovely, soppy, everything you could ever want. I can’t name enough words to describe him.

I’m lucky to call him my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my fairytale. – My Knight in shining armour.

Much Love,

The Insider x

They Fill The World With Joy

I was sitting in a cafe today and saw a lady with a new born baby. This little baby, was so adorable, it must’ve been around 1-2 weeks old. My heart melted – I think this is a normal response when a girl sees a baby.

It’s a remarkable thought, that we can give birth to such innocent living being.

This lady was was gently kissing her baby’s head and I couldn’t help but smile. The little sound of the baby’s gurgles as you could see that she was pursing her lips and scrunching up her face. The baby wanted food. Instinctively the mother started to breastfeed, covering up the baby so noone could see. – This is such a touchy topic. My opinion is just but one, and I don’t want anyone to get annoyed or offended. I completely and I mean completely think it’s acceptable to breastfeed a baby anywhere in the world. Whether your in a restaurant or at home in private. You wouldn’t stop a 2 year old or 10 year old eating in public then why should you turn your nose up at a baby? – They need to be fed. The majority of the world is made up of women. Now I can guarantee you that, everyone – YES everyone has seen boobs before. It’s no big deal if a mother is feeding her baby. If it make you comfortable then just avert your eyes, you don’t have to look. It should be up to the mother as to whether THEY are comfortable feeding in public. We are all entitled to our opinions. That’s just mine.

There’s something wonderful about seeing a mother and their baby. I don’t care if your the biggest manliest person ever, seeing a baby is still cute. I know for me when I see them, I do start to feel broody (and no it’s not just because I’m a girl) – My boyfriend gets broody when he sees babies as well, even more than me sometimes! I think this is natural, it lets off your ‘mothering’ instincts. Wishing and imagining of you, yourself having a baby. I know, I know, who would like to be sleepless and dealing with the tantrums but just look how cute babies are! All I would need to do is look into the baby’s cute little face and I wouldn’t care.
Names. Gosh. The amount of times me and my boyfriend have sat around thinking and talking about baby names is ridiculous. We aren’t even planning a baby or even ready! But you know when you’ve been with someone for so long, you do start to have these kind of talks. We have a Girls name. That was easy and a little obvious. However a boys name. (This will be the death of us. I swear). It’s so hard to think of a boys name. Whatever I like, he doesn’t. Whatever he likes I don’t! We can’t seem to reach a common ground with it! – I guess we just need to hope and pray we have a girl!

I could go on and on and on about babies. I just think that they are wonderful. They fill the world with joy. – Such a blessing.
Much Love,
The Insider x