Drifting Away …

Dear Insider

I feel as though me and my bestfriend are drifting apart. She’s recently got a new boyfriend and seems to be spending all her time with him. She’s changing and I hate whats she’s changing into. I hate her boyfriend too. Which can make things awkward.

Can you help me at all? Would like some advise on how to get through this.

Thanks,

Megan xx


 

Hi Megan,

Ooo tough one. I guess, what you need to do is be honest with your bestie. There is no reason as to why you can’t be honest with your feelings. I know for a fact that if my bestie needed to say something – I would want her to be honest and tell me, no matter if it hurts or not. 

Its one of those conversations that horrible to have, but nothing will get better unless you talk to her about it. 

Not liking the boyfriend. I myself have experienced this. One of my old friends from school is dating a right ‘Idiot’ (putting it nicely) – and I can’t stand him. This has in a way drove me and that friend apart but that’s only because I couldn’t stand to be around him and I didn’t tell her how I felt. If you and you bestie are close, then I really suggest telling her how you feel about him. There is nothing worse than keeping something locked up especially when you’re going to be in situations when you’re going to have to be in close proximity with him. If its uncomfortable, remove yourself from the equation. 

Just be honest with your friend. Say: ‘I know you much you like this guy, but I don’t. As long as your happy then so am I. However I only want to hang around you (not him as well)’ – If you’re really besties with this girl she will understand and accept how you feel. 

Honest is the best policy! 

Much Love,

The Insider x 

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My Bestfriend Is Being Cheated On.

Dear Insider,

Please HELP me. I’ve recently found out that my best friends boyfriend has been cheating on her for around 6 months now. I found out, when I was out partying in Leeds a few weeks ago. I’ve done some digging and found out that the girl that he has been cheating with, is someone who my bestfriend believes to be his cousin! I don’t want to hurt my best friend and really don’t know how to bring it up. – Should I tell her or let her find out by herself? I’m scared that she will be upset and mad at me for being the bearer of bad news. – I’m so torn, please help. (I really don’t want her to hate me).

Joanna x


 

Hi Joanna, 

WOW. I read this one and my jaw actually hit the floor. Honestly this guy sounds like a right sleezeball. If you and your bestie are like me and mine, then you need to tell her whats going on. By standing back and letting it carry on, in a way is turning a blind eye to it. – You don’t want your bestfriend to be hurt – I understand that. However, she will be more hurt in the long run if you haven’t told her up-front. Just imagine her finding out from someone else and her finding out you knew. – Awkward! (It would make everything 10x worse, trust me). 

Yes, she will be upset/mad at first but in the long run she will thank you for telling her. If you don’t she will be wasting her time for months maybe even years with a guy that is truly messing her around. No on deserves that. There is no way that she can hate you for being honest. Honesty is the best policy! – Get her over to yours, make her a coffee (or a glass of wine will work), and just tell her. It’ll feel like ripping off a plaster, it hurts at first but it heals. – Just look after her.

You’ll just need to be there for her as much as you can. It’s going to be hard for her to hear and understand at first but when she overcomes the shock, this is when she is going to need you the most. – I’m sure we all know that being cheated on is no laughing matter and really hurts. 

I hope your bestie will be ok! – With a bestfriend like you, I know she’ll get through it! 

Much Love, 

The Insider x