What Is Perfection?

You know I think that too many people worry about how they look. To me I think that we should all just be happy with the way we look. I however know all too well that the way that we look means a great deal.

In today’s generation, it is all about how we look to others. Every girl wanting the slimmer body, the perfect hair, big bum. Whilst boys are wanting the bigger shoulders, toned legs. I understand why this happens. Magazines, TV, social media anything that has any influence in people’s lives today show that everyone wants and strives for the perfect body.

I want to challenge this. How can we define the words perfect body? surely that’s down to the individuals? For example, I know that my boyfriend loves that I have a little chub, it’s what makes me sexy he says. having curves in all the right places. I don’t deem this as being sexy. I deem having a tiny waist, big bum, long hair, toned body all around.

BODY CONFIDENCE – I can honestly say that I don’t know anyone that has confidence in their body. everyone has something that they don’t like about themselves and its a load of cr**! – I myself have a huge issue with the way I look however I know that there are parts of my image that people like, whether I like them or not.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of Tess Holiday. Shes actually such a beautiful lady and honestly speaks so much truth. For me she’s a great role model and promotes body confidence. I don’t care that she’s bigger than others, I care about whats she’s trying to accomplish and inspire others to be able to do. By loving herself she is enabling and helping people love themselves too. I follow her on Instagram, and I must say she is fabulous! – She has the most amazing hair! She has so many lovers (I call them lovers, they are people who love her and think she’s amazing) but also in the lime light also brings its haters (evil people!). The way she shoots the haters down is amazing, its like whatever they ay rolls off her back. I wish I could do that! – Anyway needless to say, I think she’s FABULOUS. Read More

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I was sitting in my kitchen today, looking out of the long glass windows. It’s so peaceful. Then movement catches my eye. It’s the next door neighbours cat.

Now I love animals. All animals. However my mum is having a massive war with the cats. My mum is a keen gardener and so is my step dad. They are always out in the garden, looking after all of the plants and grass. My step dad will be out there rain or shine cutting the grass. My mum will also be out there on her hands and knees pruning the flower beds.

We have never had a problem with cats in the garden, until recently. They have taken a liking to pooing in the garden. Yes, pooing. – I think its hilarious. My mum doesn’t. ‘They are pooing everywhere! Why don’t they poo in their own garden’ my mum would say.

Honestly they would poo in every inch of the garden. It’s a little disgusting, considering cats usually bury their poo, these ones don’t. They literally just poo smack bang in the middle of the grass and run off.

My mum was getting to her breaking point. One day when I got home from work, I could hear this amazingly high-pitched siren. I shouted through the door, ‘mum! Whats that bloody sound?’ – She looked up at me smiling away, ‘How can you hear that? Its to keep the cats away! – They don’t like the sound of the high-pitched sound’. ‘Of course I can hear it! It’s stupidly loud!’

She walked out into the garden and started putting these little devices within the flower beds. Walking back into the house with a smile on her face, she said ‘That will keep the cats out of the garden’ – It’s as though she is at war with these little kittens from next door. It made me think of Tom and Jerry. You know, Tom would always be trying and scheming to capture Jerry and Jerry would always be out-smarting Tom. Its kinda like that. My mum being Tom and the kittens being Jerry.

However I think my mum has had the last laugh now. Not only had she put these weird sirens out in the garden that are so high-pitched the cats can hear them. She had also read on the internet that if you put cocktail sticks in the flower beds as well it stops the cats from pooing as well. – I must admit this actually made me howl with laughter. ‘Are you trying to hurt these cats?’ I said to my mum. Her response was ‘No, it’s just to stop them from pooing in the garden! – It won’t hurt them it’ll only prick them’. It’s the most funniest thing I’ve ever heard. – I feel sorry for the cats if they try and sit down for a poo.

Mum 1 – Cats 0.

Watching out the window today has confirmed that the cats won’t come off the fence. They stay high and off the grass. They seem to just retreat back to their own house.

It’s SO funny. – Whats your opinion of Cats?

Much Love,

The Insider x

It’s My Birthday & I’ll Party If I Want Too!

My whole world is coming to an end Insiders. I’ve turned 22. I’m edging closer and closer to having to be an ACTUAL adult. What an awful thought. – My grey hairs will be coming before know it. 

My day started by being woken up by a text at 4:55am. If any of you Insiders read my bog 50/50 and bet that my dad would text me… Well you win. I was woken up at 4:55 in the morning, by a text from my dad saying and I quote ‘Happy Birthday x’. Yupp. That’s all the message said. I closed my phone and went back to sleep. – I woke up again at like 9 (a more sensible hour!) and replied to his text and I quote ‘Thank you x’ and no other response was given. GREAT. (sarcasm).

My gorgeous boyfriend got up and took me for my favourite breakfast. McDonald’s breakfast. Yes, yes I know, it’s not glamorous or anything like that however, I LOVE McDonald’s breakfast. – Embarrassing but each to their own and all that! I was rather happy after having breakfast. 

My boyfriend then decided to book tickets to go to the cinema. We went to watch ‘The Greatest Showman’ – OMG. I LOVED IT! It was so amazing! Great story line of the circus and how they came to be around and the development of them around the world. Romance with Zac Efron as the main sex god! – I was trying not to drool when he came out singing in a suit. Yummy! Hugh Jackman was also BRILLIANT! Defiantly a major fitty for his age! I would absolutely suggest this film if you like a light-hearted musical with a twist. – I have bought the album on iTunes! 

THEN! We went back to his and we started to get ready for dinner. I was super excited for dinner, as my mum and step dad were meeting us for a steak night. I was actually feeling really good about myself today (shocker!). I had put on my gorgeous light blue ripped jeans, black top, back heels and curled my hair. If I do say so myself, I looked damn good! 

The Steak that we had was insane. – If your veggie im sorry! The steak was just beautiful! I mean it was cooked perfectly. Medium rare just how I like. the meat just melted in your mouth. The mushroom source was breathtaking aswell. 

I’ve been very very spoilt! – Thank you to everyone for the birthday messages and for spoiling me rotten! 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

50/50

INSIDERS! – Its my birthday tomorrow! I SOO can’t wait. I will make an admission – I am one of those birthday princess divas.

I know that sounds funny but honestly, I’m very much like ‘It’s my birthday is all about me’ – Well I act like that in my head but not outside for everyone to see.

However, there is a small part of me that wonders. I wonder if I’ll be contacted by my dad. Its one of those days that I start to feel a little vulnerable. I start to think about my dad. (I really don’t know why – It’s rather annoying).

He used to post a card through my door at like 5am before he went to work. Now I’m lucky to get a text from him. – As you can see Insiders, I have a lot of built up anger against my dad.

I wonder if ill get a text or card… 50/50.

I’ll let you know!

Much Love,

The Insider x

Inspiration Please!!

I’m sitting here, trying and desperately hoping for inspiration to knock me in the face. So instead of sitting here looking like an idiot and getting frustrated, I have been reading other bloggers posts. – Something that I haven’t done in a while. Which isn’t good as reading others blogs Is something that as a blogger you should do as often as possible. Not only does it help you gain inspiration, it can help you get your own blog known. Posting, liking, commenting will help reach new and upcoming bloggers in your community. I vow to read at least 1/2 blog posts and evening from now on. I’ve really enjoyed it. 

I think I’ve put it off for such a long time as, I’m someone who compares others to me. So by reading other bloggers websites is daunting and scary for me, as I would start to think negatively about my own work. – You know – ‘There blog is better than mine.’ ‘They write better than me’ ‘Gosh there stories are better than mine’. – I took a breath today and started to read and you know something Insiders, I’ve really enjoyed it. 

I must say there are some wonderful blogs out there. I mean full of colour, heart, emotions, laughter and even some have brought a tear to my eye. I bet some of you are thinking, ‘blogging is for people who like the sound of their own voice or that they are people who have huge opinions and want to force them on others’.

– WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. Blogging is a community. A community to share, understand, help and inspire each other. I mean, I have been looking around the blogging community this morning and I have found some breathtaking blogs. I mean blogs that have actually spoken to me on an emotional/personal level. I have also found some funny blogs – blogs that reminded me of my childhood or reinstated how I feel about certain situations. 

I can’t believe that it has taken me this long to understand that this is how blogging works. 

I guess, I just need to take my time when it comes to writing my own blogs and read others to gain inspiration. Plus it helps me to realise that all bloggers go through a hard spell (not being able to think of something to write about).

Also helps me to know that I’m not alone. 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

Handbags Vs Clothes

I think I’ve mentioned before that I find Shopping a little tedious and sometimes stressful.

I’ve been out shopping with my bestie all day. She’s this gorgeous size 10 with big boobs and flat stomach (jealous!). Whilst I’m a chubby size 18 and lumps and bumps in the wrong places!

She can wear a dish cloth and she’d look fabulous. Whilst me, I look stupid in just a black old Tshirt. I have to look for the bigger sizes which most shops don’t even go up too. I have to look for the flowy, baggy clothes so that none of my chubbiness.

I hate it. I mean, I love going shopping with her. I love seeing her try on all these amazing clothes and tops. I love being able to talk her into treating herself. However, I’ll pick out a few things that I love but they don’t look good at all. I mean, I’ll pick my size, hold my breath in the fitting room. Then – my eyes traveling down my reflection in the mirror. Ok, it looks good on the neck line, flows nicely on my stomach area but it’s all too good to be true. It’s too tight on my arms. Sadly I have rather fatty upper arms.

If it’s not my arms, it’s my waist, if it’s not my waist it’s my boobs. Honestly my body is awful to try and dress. I really hits my confidence. It’s as though, my body lets me down and I end up buying nothing. I can’t explain how low I get.

However handbags. Now handbags never make me feel sad. They never make me feel as though I’m fat or ugly. You can never have too many handbags! There is so many to choose from! Different sizes, different colours, different fabrics. Each and everyone will suit you. You don’t have to worry about them not looking good on you.

So today, I didn’t manage to find any clothes that looked good on me, so I brought a brand new handbag! It’s GORGEOUS! A lovely mustard colour. Ooh I’m trying not to drawl whilst thinking about it.

If I sold my handbag collection I would probably have a deposit for a house! – No word of a lie!

Much Love,

The Insider x