The Giddy Feeling 

Right. I’m going to start by saying, I’m in a very happy long term relationship. However, I still remember that bubbly feeling – still get it actually. When you see that one person you like.

Girls, you know what feeling I’m talking about – No. Nothing sexual! That warm giddy feeling you get when you see that guy that you like.

You know those types of girls that just seem to be so perfect, there hair always perfectly curled, there makeup perfectly airbrushed all the time. They seem to always catch the looks of the guys, whether or not they mean too. Like one of my friends, she’s completely flawless without even trying! It’s like all the guys mouths hit the floor and there eyes pop out there head! Me on the other hand, I was the goofy girl. The one that wasn’t necessarily gorgeous or ugly (no one is ugly by the way!) – I was just average. The one that always bumped into tables, tripped over and stuttered my words. Especially if I was around a guy I liked.

I was a super confident person. I know contradicting right? I only turned into a goofy moron when I was around someone I liked. I couldn’t get my words out at all. I’ll be tripping over my words, I’ll loose my train of thought – I just stand there like a wet lemon.  When you like someone, your eyes will automatically search the room to try and see it they are around – This happens subconsciously. Then as soon as you click eyes on them, your heart literally skips a beat. Then you will make up any excuse to go over and talk to them. Ok girls, you all know that nervously sick feeling you get when you walk over to a really hot guy? It’s horrid. Your mouth starts to go dry, your palms start to sweat – You probably think that people can see your sweat. (They can’t don’t worry). These feelings are absolutely normal! Don’t panic. Then you have to think of something to say to this guy. I always pray ‘god help me not look like an idiot’. However, I get all giggly and start looking like an idiot.

Thank the lord I have a boyfriend as I can definitely not flirt to save my life.

My way of flirting is insulting the guy. (Stupid). Anyway, once you’ve made your approach, as elegant as you can, you try to make conversation. Tones of topics running through your brain, any normal person will ask them how there weekend was, how works going anything! Me, oh no. I’m not that smooth. I come out with ‘long time no see!’ – I saw him like an hour ago. He had only gone for lunch. I mean I just wanted the floor to eat me up right then and there. However, it made him laugh (god my knees go weak when he laughs).

Anyway….

Satisfied with yourself you walk away all confident. This is when all the worrying starts. You’ll start to replay the conversation in your head, wondering how stupid you sounded. Wondering if you came across like a school girl, wondering if you looked desperate. I know we have all thought these things. You know what, as long as you managed to smile, nod and walk away without falling over, it was a success! – When you sit back down, you’ll constantly be looking over, wandering if he/she is looking at you. Wondering if they think about you. It’s enough to drive you crazy!

I think we should all just enjoy the bubbly feeling of crushing on someone… If your as lucky as me, you’ll get this feeling every time you look at your boyfriend/partner/husband/wife.

Much Love,

The Insider x

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Don’t Cry Hun, Your Make-Up Costs Too Much

‘You wear too much make up’

‘Your contour is too heavy’

‘You spend too much time time on your make up’

‘You spend too much money on make up’

IF YOU HAVE ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE THAT SAYS ANY OF THE ABOVE TO YOU – CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. – You don’t need those negative people in your lives. You need to find friends that are going to be supportive of your make up choices.

I personally have enough makeup to set up my own store. Lipsticks, foundations, blushes, mascaras, eye shadows – The whole Shebang. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t carry at least 3 lipsticks in there handbag. (I carry 7). When I get ready to go out for a night with the girls, I will take 2/3 bags just full of makeup. All my friends love it when I say I’m coming over to get ready as they know that I will share my makeup with them. Not to mention I will use them as a portrait. I will literally grab there face and attack them with makeup. They have no choice in the matter!

If your dedicated to makeup you’ll understand and appreciate the amount of time it takes. You have to learn which colours suit you, look at all the reviews of the product. It’s not as easy as everyone thinks.

I have never been critized how long it takes me to get ready.  My boyfriend, my family, no one even says a word because I look absolutely fabulous afterwards (I know sounding a little up myself there). It can sometimes take me 2/3 hours to get ready, however this is a full face of makeup – You know, winged smokey eyes. On a normal day, just going out for lunch or shopping, I can take me 20 minutes to an hour. – I’m a lucky girl, my boyfriend understands why it takes so long! I’ve even trusted him to go out and buy my foundation! (I know, scary).

Girls that wear makeup get a really silly stereotype – ‘Oh she’s wearing too much makeup, she’s looking for attention’ – This is a load of rubbish and is an awful statement. For me, it’s a form of art. The amount of time and effort it takes to get it right. Not to mention takes time to become good at it. I use makeup, yes to make myself feel confident. I don’tthink that’s a bad thing. I mean, batman puts his mask on. When I put my makeup on, it’s like my armour for the day. Makes me feel as though I can go and face anything. Plus if I get upset or annoyed or something bad happens, I remember that it took me 2 hours to get ready and my makeup costs too much.

Don’t waste your makeup honey – It costs too much.

Much Love,

The Insider x

My bestfriend, My hero, My DAD!

I don’t consider my step dad as a step parent. He is my dad.
Here is a list of qualities of my step dad:

  • Funny
  • Kind hearted
  • Lovely/Loving
  • Friendly/Easy to talk too
  • Supportive/Understanding

This list can go on and on but I can’t write all of them – but you get the idea!

I was around 4/5 years old when my mum and dad spilt. It wasn’t a horrible or nasty split, obviously it wasn’t great because I didn’t know what was going on. However I saw my dad often! Until I was around 13/14. He stopped contact and speaking to me – Yeah what an idiot (which is the nicer word for him).

However, when I was 5 my mum started dating my step dad. I didn’t really know what was going on but I clicked with him straight away. I loved him from day one, although I never called him dad he has always been that figure to me. (I think I don’t call him dad because when I was younger, I knew who my dad was). – I was joint at the hip with my step dad when I was younger, always with him. Then when I got to my teenage years I distanced myself (like we all do), and now I’m an adult, I’m closer to him than ever!

My step dad, is the definition of BEST dad in the world. I can honestly say that he has been through everything with me –

  • Through changing schools
  • My moody teenage years
  • My GCSE/A-Levels results
  • My bestfriend breakups
  • Boyfriends
  • Jobs

You name it, he’s been through it with me. He deserves some kind of medal for it! It hasn’t always been plain sailing, I’ve shouted at him, called him names, been awful to him but like a true DAD he loved me unconditionally. – It must be hard to take care of someone else’s children, step parents choose to love you and then it develops to unconditionally.

As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, he has two daughters of his own (who I love dearly) – He has never treated me any differently to them. I adore this man. I well up with pride and happiness when I hear him reference ‘my 3 Girls’ or people say ‘is this your eldest daughter?’ – LOVE IT!

He supports me in everything I do. If I’m upset, he’ll always give me the biggest cuddles ever, he’ll always ask about my day, he always tells me he is proud of me, he always treats me. – At the end of the day he is ALWAYS there when I need him, whatever the issue big or small.

I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and how lucky I was to have him for a dad. So, I took him, my mum and my boyfriend to the place where they got married. We were having such a lovely dinner. I could feel a lump in my throat as I pulled out some paper from my bag and started to say ‘you’ve been in my life for years and years, your the bestest dad I could’ve ever asked for’ (at this point he had shear panick on his face – was a little amusing!). – I held my breath and gave him the papers. I started to get teary as I saw the joy and happiness on his face. He said ‘are these official?!’ All I could do was nod as I was so emotional. I had given him the papers that confirmed that I had changed my surname to match his.

I’ve never felt so complete – I know how can you feel complete changing a name. I just can’t explain it!

I love him to pieces. He is my dad. I’m so proud and lucky to be able to say that.

My bestfriend, My hero, My DAD.

Much Love,

The Insider x