I Lava You x

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. I’ve been with him for almost 4 years now. It feels like I’ve known him my whole life. I think I was around 12/13 years old when I met him – I know right, he has known me through my ugly duckling stages! The days in which my eyebrows didn’t match! – Honestly I don’t know what the hell he saw in me.

Clearly I haven’t been with him all this time, I’ve had previous boyfriends and he’s had a previous girlfriend. My old boyfriends would get annoyed and jealous of my now boyfriend as I would always be talking to him, talking about him (Me being the innocent person I was, didn’t realise this looked bad). However, I would get so jealous when he would text me saying ‘Im with my girlfriend, I can’t talk now, ill message you later’ – OMG this would annoy the hell out of me. – I would get really stroppy with him. I swear it must have been like he had 2 girlfriends! – Bless him.

Whenever he messaged me I would always have a smile/smirk on my face. Back in the day, when I was at school I would hide my phone under the desk and text him back – All my friends knew who I was texting because of my face. I used to get that girly feeling all the time.

Anyway he was my best friend (still is) throughout all my school years. He was that guy that I would fall asleep texting and wake up eagerly looking to see if he has messaged back. I would tell him anything and everything. He went through all my break ups with other guys, getting our exam results and everything!

From the first day I met him I fell. I knew that he was someone special. He had blonde spiked up hair, was smaller than me, wearing a football shirt, shorts and socks all pulled up. Now yes his fashion sense back then sounds a little out there but he was super cute! He had a 6 pack and everything! (Not so much now but that’s because we have become so comfortable together). I would always look at him and go all red in the face. He walked me home once (It was around a 40 minute walk), I was so nervous and honestly when he hugged me I thought my knees were going to fall from under me. – We actually didn’t physically see each other for years, however spoke every single day. We spoke on MSN, Facebook, Skype and also by texting. We would stay up to 2AM talking, it was never boring. We would be talking all day and still never get bored.

When we started meeting up again (we must have been around 17) – He had just passed his driving test (Finally! Took him a few times with his theory!). I was single and so was he, this was unheard of! We had never both been single at the same time. I was so nervous, I never understood why, I mean I spoke to this guy every day for so many years but now I was meeting him for the first time in years and it all felt real all of a sudden. He knocked on my door, my heart stopped. When I opened the door, I had to remind myself to breathe, here was my bestfriend, 6ft 2in (so much taller than I remembered), hair swept back (no more blonde), gorgeous green eyes, goofy smile. This was no longer the boy that I remembered, he had turned into this handsome man. – It was so weird, I mean, I had seen him all the time on Facebook and Skype however seeing him standing in front of me, it was like I was seeing him for the first time. – I thought that he was the most handsome guy I had ever seen.

Long story short, we started dating around 3 months after meeting up again. It just felt natural. Like nothing had changed. The first time we kissed, OMG it was like fireworks set off in my mind. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. (Even as I write this I can’t help but smile). – He was so nervous and I was so nervous as well. I mean the atmosphere went completely tense, my heart was in my throat. Being honest, I had waited for this day since I had first met him.

He literally does anything for me. Anything. He takes care of me, one time I was so sick and the week before I fell in love with a little elephant teddy. He came over with the elephant teddy and a bunch of chocolate to make me feel better. I will point out that elephants are my favourite animal. Heffalumps are adorable. He is always looking after me. Especially with what I’m going through at the moment, he is the only one that I will listen too when in my lowest moments. He is the only I want to calm me down. He doesn’t necessarily have to do anything, but he grabs me in his arms and holds me. This is enough to calm me. I can’t explain how it makes me feel just to be in his arms. I guess the only way I can explain it is, I feel safe.

He is honestly the most amazing human being I’ve ever met. He is so kind, caring, lovely, soppy, everything you could ever want. I can’t name enough words to describe him.

I’m lucky to call him my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my fairytale. – My Knight in shining armour.

Much Love,

The Insider x

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Keyboard Warriors 

You can tell a lot about the age of someone by the way that they text. Like the younger generation are able to text with just there thumbs and without looking at the keyboard. Whilst my parents generation will hold the phone like 15cm away from their face and type with their index finger. – Hilarious! It’s hilarious when you see someone writing a text with their index finger! It’s just not natural at all! I mean come on, surely a thumb is easier to type with?

I hate auto text! This can be such a vital sign to see how old someone is. Like when your phone automatically corrects things and people write back saying ‘what does that mean’ – This clearly means that they’re the older generation! Like ‘ducking’ this is a common automatic iPhone correction – If you don’t know what this means, then sorry your too old to have an iphone! – Only joking!

In todays society you can’t live without a phone. Its iPhone this, Samsung that. Honestly its crazy! I can’t imagine being without a phone. I see loads of kids nowadays that are 8-10 years old and have the newest phones out. I think thats stupid! I was lucky if I was to get a nokia 360.- You know that big thick brick looking thing? With buttons for numbers, it gave tour thumbs an amazing work out! You had to click onr button to get the right letter! Those were the days… Now this was a phone that you could run over with a truck and it wouldn’t break. I promise, I have tried to break this kind of phone and I believe that it is indestructible!

My sister is 10 she has an iPhone 6 plus. I mean how does this phone even fit in her tiny hand?! What does a 10 year old need with a phone like that? – Ever heard of keeping up with the jones? I think this is what happens when kids go to school. They always need the bigger better gadgets. – Its sad I think… I used to go out and climb trees with my friends, I wasn’t glued to a phone, TV or computer. However, as I’ve grow up and moved into adulthood, I do seem to be glued to my phone more and more. 

As good as phones are in today’s world, they cause major problems. I mean I’m sure you’ve all heard of Jeremy Kyle. Like JK  is always saying that he hates Facebook as people are always ‘trashing’ each other on it. I believe that phones enable bullies to come alive. Making the world of phones and social media unbareable at times. Back in my day they were called keyboard warriors. They would completely rip you to shreds over the internet or text, however when met face to face with you wouldn’t say a thing. – People are always saying we have the best safety systems in the world to protect users against abuse. RUBBISH. The internet that we can all access on phones, is growing and making life for many unbareable. All the bullying and cyber crime. Scary! 

However there is perks to having phones, and the internet always available. Like when I want to prove my boyfriend wrong. All I have to do is bring google into the argument and I’ve won! Haha only joking but honestly the internet has helped millions of people connect and share stories around the world. Helping fundraise for charities, reuniting families that have lost contact. – There are the amazing powers that’s the internet has. Espically when you have a phone that enables you to have all of this at your fingertips! 

Anyway, my keyboard warriors – 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

 

Books Are My Love 

I for one love books. You get taken away into a land of imagination. When you read you are unlimited to far your mind can go. – Your unleashed! 

A book will draw you in within minutes. Creating a wonderful magic world that you can get lost in. I truly believe that books can open your mind to so many new things. Things that your mind and eyes wouldn’t be able to dream of. 

It’s an amazing way of relaxing. Just sitting breathing slowly with a cup of tea and a book. It’s so much better than having your eyes glued to a screen – Don’t get me wrong, I love watching TV just as much as everyone else. However you aren’t using your imagination. You get shown and told how to visualise a character. You hear the characters name pronounced in a certain way – In a book, their can be a number of different ways you can say a name. Me and my boyfriend read the same books BUT we will have a heated (emphasis on the heated!) debate on how to say a characters name. Wow. Me and my boyfriend sound like an old married couple! 
I have read the Game If Thrones books and was super excited to see it become a TV series. However, I was SO disappointed with Jamie. In the books he is describe to be this gorgeous SEX GOD. I had a great image in my head of him. However when I saw him on the series my heart sank. He was just average. – Ok. I will admit, he is good looking but I had a different idea in my head. My bestie loves the look of Jamie. She hasn’t read the books, so she is going off the  interpretation of the producers of what Jamie should look like. 

In this day and age, I think that the younger generation won’t even want to read a book due to how good technology is. It’ll be a great shame if that’s the case. 

Encourage people to read. It’ll open there mind to the impossible. 

Much Love, 

The Insider x 

The Giddy Feeling 

Right. I’m going to start by saying, I’m in a very happy long term relationship. However, I still remember that bubbly feeling – still get it actually. When you see that one person you like.

Girls, you know what feeling I’m talking about – No. Nothing sexual! That warm giddy feeling you get when you see that guy that you like.

You know those types of girls that just seem to be so perfect, there hair always perfectly curled, there makeup perfectly airbrushed all the time. They seem to always catch the looks of the guys, whether or not they mean too. Like one of my friends, she’s completely flawless without even trying! It’s like all the guys mouths hit the floor and there eyes pop out there head! Me on the other hand, I was the goofy girl. The one that wasn’t necessarily gorgeous or ugly (no one is ugly by the way!) – I was just average. The one that always bumped into tables, tripped over and stuttered my words. Especially if I was around a guy I liked.

I was a super confident person. I know contradicting right? I only turned into a goofy moron when I was around someone I liked. I couldn’t get my words out at all. I’ll be tripping over my words, I’ll loose my train of thought – I just stand there like a wet lemon.  When you like someone, your eyes will automatically search the room to try and see it they are around – This happens subconsciously. Then as soon as you click eyes on them, your heart literally skips a beat. Then you will make up any excuse to go over and talk to them. Ok girls, you all know that nervously sick feeling you get when you walk over to a really hot guy? It’s horrid. Your mouth starts to go dry, your palms start to sweat – You probably think that people can see your sweat. (They can’t don’t worry). These feelings are absolutely normal! Don’t panic. Then you have to think of something to say to this guy. I always pray ‘god help me not look like an idiot’. However, I get all giggly and start looking like an idiot.

Thank the lord I have a boyfriend as I can definitely not flirt to save my life.

My way of flirting is insulting the guy. (Stupid). Anyway, once you’ve made your approach, as elegant as you can, you try to make conversation. Tones of topics running through your brain, any normal person will ask them how there weekend was, how works going anything! Me, oh no. I’m not that smooth. I come out with ‘long time no see!’ – I saw him like an hour ago. He had only gone for lunch. I mean I just wanted the floor to eat me up right then and there. However, it made him laugh (god my knees go weak when he laughs).

Anyway….

Satisfied with yourself you walk away all confident. This is when all the worrying starts. You’ll start to replay the conversation in your head, wondering how stupid you sounded. Wondering if you came across like a school girl, wondering if you looked desperate. I know we have all thought these things. You know what, as long as you managed to smile, nod and walk away without falling over, it was a success! – When you sit back down, you’ll constantly be looking over, wandering if he/she is looking at you. Wondering if they think about you. It’s enough to drive you crazy!

I think we should all just enjoy the bubbly feeling of crushing on someone… If your as lucky as me, you’ll get this feeling every time you look at your boyfriend/partner/husband/wife.

Much Love,

The Insider x